This month has been so chaotic for me.
It wasn’t until today that I realized how all of that chaos was a choice I was making. Its all normal life stuff, new childcare provider, planning for camping trips, sleep deprivation, bible school and kids that are “having a week” but for some reason this month I was really letting it rule my life.
I got cold sores in my mouth, started losing hair, can hardly keep my eyes open at home because I am emotionally and physically DRAINED. Why was all of this stuff that was just LIFE getting me so DOWN? It was because I was wallowing. And I was allowing my children to wallow with me and my husband was also wallowing we were a bunch of damned WALLOWERS. So I decided it is time to get back to our happy simplicity that we enjoyed so much.
We started by cutting the cable with Direct TV. That was a hard decision to make. I cringed and told my husband to “just do it already”. Then I was instantly very aware of how ridiculous it was that it was so hard. I can say that we are not entirely “going without” we have a Smart TV with apps that allow us to watch pretty much whatever we want. The idea of cutting out Direct TV was that we were so glued to it and it was just mind-rotting. We would spend some nights aimlessly flipping through channels that had nothing we wanted to watch because agreeing on some Animal Planet show that has nothing to do with animals (a very real frustration of min. Like MTV with no actual music). Now we either purposefully choose something to watch, do something else entirely OR (amazing thought) go to bed a little earlier. This brings me to our next change.
The summer hours kill my little family. It is NOT easy to get kids to come inside let alone go to sleep when it’s still broad daylight outside. We were staying up way to late. It was not unusual for my kids to be up past 10 running around helping my husband work on stuff outside, playing with the neighborhood kids, etc. As a result, my husband and I were staying up until close to midnight to spend a little time together and/or do household chores that could not be done while the kids were awake. The only one who had a good bed time routine was Jacob because his internal clock makes him shut down at about 8 o’clock every night. This is awesome. So to combat this bad habit, we end “front yard time” at around 7ish. They have the option to either play in the backyard, in their rooms or hang with us but they don’t get to run around in the front. At 7:30 its jammie time. I usually put on some 30 minute show at this point, but we are substituting that with our other big life change which I will explain shortly. By 8:30, I wrangle my children into their beds. They continue screaming at me relentlessly begging me to let them stay up and arguing that its “still day time outside” until eventually falling into obstinate silence and sleep.
Now, since Direct TV is gone, our 30 minutes before bed time is changing. I pop open our YouTube app on our TV and tune into Cosmic Kids Yoga. When I first discovered this YouTube channel I had every intention of incorporating this into our daily routine but it eventually fizzled out because…well…life. We are starting it up and we now faithfully do daily yoga. And what I mean by we now faithfully do daily yoga is that we did it last night and I am hopeful that it will become a thing.
Finally, I decided to stop thinking about things that are out of my control. Our childcare situation had changed, that has been a source of stress and unrest in my life. But it doesn’t have to be. The decision has been made and we are moving forward, its time to stop thinking about it and talking about it. Its done and it doesn’t matter anymore. We can tip toe around that idea but in the end the only thing we can do is MOVE ON. No more wallowing.
We are going to buckle down and make these changes happen and revisit the impact next Friday. I am hopeful that I am going to return to this blog next Friday a changed, more relaxed mother who made the best choices to better her family. Now, the reality of that is that the first couple days I am going to have some ANGRY kids who are going to want to watch some Sponge Bob….wish me luck.