Marriage is a big commitment. You should always go into it with the intention that this will be the one and only time it will happen. This is my husband and I on our wedding day 🙂 We eloped and it was perfect. He is the love of my life, this is not a divorce post about our marriage!
But sometimes the partner you picked doesn’t hold up to their end of the bargain. Or you just look at each other and realize you aren’t in love anymore. Its important to realize that leaving an unhealthy marriage is not FAILING.
That’s all we hear about divorce. That somehow we have failed, that we didn’t do enough. That somehow we have disgraced the sanctity of marriage.
My mom divorced my dad and watching the train wreck that became of his life not only do I not blame her but I am very grateful that she did it. If she would’ve stayed in the marriage, my sister and I could have very easily been taken away from them eventually.
I got married young and that marriage didn’t work out. We both didn’t hold up to our ends of the bargain and realized pretty quickly we were not each other’s “person”. It wasn’t until I went through that that I realized how hard my mother’s divorce must’ve been for her.
People are mean and judgmental. I had family members tell me that no one would want me because I had a child, that marriage is NEVER easy and that I gave up when the going got tough. I won’t get into the details of my divorce, but it wasn’t very pretty and I’ll leave it at that. To have the added shame of people I thought would be there to help hold me up instead push me down was really hard.
Today, I am so thankful that I made that choice. Not just because my life is pretty amazing now and because I found someone I can call my person, but because my daughter is being raised in a household where we are a united family.
Then there is the selfish reasons. I look at my husband and I literally couldn’t imagine being without him. It’s truly not an option, not even a possibility in this universe that I would ever willingly leave him. He is 100% my other half and I love him for that. I love the life we have built together.
When I look at mine and my mother’s lives and the marriages we each are in now, I can’t help but laugh at the thought that we “failed” at marriage. I feel like I won, like I won at life!