The six stages of refusing to co-sleep and then giving in


Phase one: pregnancy.

Read books that will give you all the knowledge you need to prepare yourself.

Nothing worth doing is EASY of course it’s hard, but it’s worth it.

Look up SIDS statistics and allow the determination to sink in.

Judge other moms who choose to cosleep because they are endangering their babies.

Phase two: labor.

Spend the night in the hospital where although you have everything you need and plenty of help, the stress of labor coupled with the lack of sleep and being woken every two hours by nurses is weighing on you.

Your beautiful baby makes it all better. You have never functioned on so little sleep by somehow you are able to. It’s amazing.

Phase three: homecoming.

So you are excited to go home but most likely still pretty exhausted. You finally get to sleep in your bed, and your baby gets to go in your beautiful bassinet/crib.

That night is crazy. But you and your partner went into this knowing how tired you’d be and how little sleep you’d get. You read ALL the books, this isn’t unheard of.

Phase four: holy shit.

This hits me around the end of the first week. You’ve chosen to breastfeed. (I say this because the only time I’ve coslept is when I’ve been breastfeeding, my formula fed first born has always been a good sleeper and that was a gift from God) Well if you are breastfeeding, that’s ALL you are doing. That and forcing yourself to stay hydrated and eat meals fairly regularly.

You have never been so deliriously tired. You basically run on coffee.

You dream of sleep. You have visions of being in some tropical paradise where you lay in a perfect bed and sleep for eight hours straight and wake up slowly.

Sometimes, you dream about cosleeping. You scoff at the idea. It’s dangerous. You would never do anything to hurt your baby! You KNOW the risks, you read it in the book.

Phase five: Google.

You google cosleeping. You do it in secret. On the toilet while your husband holds the baby, like any respectable mother would.

You look up things like “benefits of cosleeping” and “cosleeping across the world”. You are torn between the book that told you you are going to suffocate your baby, and your desire to get SOME sleep and be close to your child.

You probably cry and then put the computer away.

Phase six: the night after google.

You swaddle your baby like a pro, lean over the crib and gently ease him or her inside. You creep over to your bed, slide in and wiggle into your favorite position.

Then you hear the little cry.

You repeat this for the next thirty minutes (even though it feels like hours) this has become your night.

You snap.

You bring the baby in your bed. You lay down and nurse in a side-laying position. You and your baby drift off into a beautiful slumber. You sleep for FIVE HOURS without waking up. It’s a freaking miracle.

You burn the book.

You make a decision right then that THIS is what is going to work for you and you stand by it. You don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and you sleep.

After you wake up in the morning, everything feels brighter. You got a DECENT amount of sleep. You feel like a human being again. You aren’t afraid of falling asleep while sitting in a chair nursing your baby anymore. You aren’t afraid you’re going to accidently fall asleep and your three year old is going to destroy your home and you accidentally end up over sleeping and your late to pick up your first grader. Your baby slept better too! An absolute miracle.

I have safely coslept my children by using these guidelines. I’m not saying this is what everyone should do, and to disregard allowing your baby to sleep in a crib, what I’m saying is put the book down and figure it out yourself.

I’m not an advocate of any kind of parenting specifically, I’m an advocate of figuring out what works for you and not feeling ashamed of it. I’m an advocate of being the best mom you can be and not worrying about what other people are doing 💛 I am also NOT a pediatrician or Doctor, so if you identify with my struggle then cheers, if you don’t but got a kick out of it cheers! If you are looking for medical advice, go talk to an expert because my ONLY qualification is that I am a mother!

You do you boo 👏🏻

6 thoughts on “The six stages of refusing to co-sleep and then giving in

  1. I don’t know how parents don’t co-sleep. I went through all of your phases. With my first, there was “No Way” I was going to do that. I literally struggled to function, and he was the only thing I had to worry about. When my daughter came along, my son was only 10.5 months when she was born, AND I was breastfeeding. Co-Sleeping is the only way I survived. With my son, I was terrified of SIDS, and waking 3-4 times a night just to check on him. Add that to working full time and having a new baby at home. I don’t know how I survived.

    I fell asleep nursing my daughter one night and never looked back. We both slept so amazing. I slept better with her there, she slept better there, and I would argue I was much more capable of functioning properly.

    Not a popular opinion, but hey, it worked amazing for me.


    1. I honestly have no idea how people do it! Especially like you said when they work or have other children! There is no “sleep when they sleep” when you have other children! It works great for me and my family and we are all happier because of it

      Liked by 1 person

  2. this is so funny!! we cosleep a lot with my first but my second can only sleep alone. my husband and i said we would never cosleep, but as I’m typing this my oldest is asleep in our bed where i’ll be joining her in a bit. i breastfed them both, but i think it’s a combination of several things, one of which just being their personalities. whatever works sister!


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