I am a super crazy paranoid mom. THERE I SAID IT.
Yes, I am that mom who doesn’t let my children cross the street unless I am outside watching them. In my defense, cars go fast on my street. BUT NO ONE PAYS ATTENTION including my own freaking kids, man. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve yelled “LOOK BOTH WAYS!!!” and my daughter stops in the middle of the street and looks both ways and keeps going. Well, kiddo, you could’ve already been hit by a freaking CAR.
My mind goes to places I really wish it wouldn’t.
I was NEVER this way growing up, but now I am terrified of the world.
I watched The Changeling….which was a mistake. And the Netflix documentary “Who Took Johnny” (if you haven’t seen them- don’t. And don’t google them either. Stay FAR away from them.). It’s just scary how much in this world is out of our hands. There are MY little people, I can’t imagine loosing them.
I remember reading a quote that said “Making the decision to have a child- it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body” and I identify with that SO strongly. I think about that quote often.
My husband coaches high school baseball and football and when he is gone for away games…I freaking scope my house with military precision. Ain’t NO BODY going to get into my house. I lock it DOWN.
I remember telling my mom how I couldn’t believe how some of my neighbors would let their kids run all over the place unsupervised because of how close we live to the interstate. Like I can see I-5 from my house, it would be so easy for some whacko to pull over, gas up, grab a kid and be gone forever. My mom sat there for a second before saying “Jesus Christ Melissa-you can’t think that way!”
It didn’t even occur to me how crazy that was, it seemed totally rational! My husband is just as crazy (maybe even a little more). When I ran the theory by him he was like “Yes, exactly.”
Sometimes I wish I was less afraid of those things, but when I let my guard down its like the universe is right there to remind me of the horrors of the world.
One such example of this was a few months ago when I was still in the fourth trimester. We were at a baseball game and I was nursing my still new baby. My kids were playing tag with some of the other baseball-brats (my affectionate nick name for baseball player kids) and I thought “I’m going to loosen the leash a little and let them run around and have fun”.
Well when the game was over my son was nowhere to be found! Thankfully he was just in my car because he got cold, but it was terrifying. I remember telling my mom “THIS is why I am crazy!”
So I hold that leash close, trying to let loose a little when I can and give them some freedom. You can’t live your life waiting for something to happen. I am a cautious person, I borderline helicopter mom and I try to work on my paralyzing irrational fears!
Anyone else have any mom-craziness? Share in the comments below!