I feel like most people who know me know I give zero f&*ks about what people think of my mom game.
I do my best, and I have nothing to prove to other moms.
But I got a comment recently that made me cringe, and I feel like this is a story that I will tell with the help of Snapchat filters because they make me laugh.
So I was just bossing through my day like a normal boss-mom, I can imagine I looked like this:
And then some human being that I am not going to identify by gender made a comment about the lack of extracurricular activities and play dates in my children’s life.
The word play date makes me cringe for some reason. I just can’t even.
I can imagine this was my face during this conversation:
ALSO I would like to take a moment to ask what it is about me that invites this unwanted criticism of my parenting? Like I NEVER feel the obligation to tell someone they aren’t doing enough. I don’t even think about it, honestly. Like you have to be a real shitty parent for me to worry about what you got going on. AND my kids are definitely not deprived. They do little league, I sign my daughter up for the cheer camps and she did this pageant thing called Lamb Derby that was a pain in the butt! They are far from deprived just because I don’t cram their schedules full of activities!
I also don’t enjoy volunteering in the class rooms.
That’s right, I said it. I will volunteer, but I hate it. I am volunteering at my daughters book fair, and I did so by choice because I want to help and because I want to do my part as a mother. But there is no warm gushy part of my heart that get filled every time I do this. Like…I want to go to work. I have STUFF I need to do. I enjoy seeing how excited my daughter is when I help out, and I enjoy helping the teachers when I can because I appreciate them, and I enjoy being in the classroom to see my daughter succeed and her pride, but it ends there.
I know, I’m a dog! A total dog, how could motherhood not be the thing that fills me up with joy in every moment??? I know, I know, but trust me I am not from outer space!
As much as my kids fill my heart with joy, I also am fulfilled by my work and my quiet time. Those things are also very important to me, and not because I need to work for a pay check. But because I like my job, I enjoy working and being out of the home.
So sometimes my cute little angel of a daughter will come up to me and say something about how “so-and-so’s mom lets them do this and that”:
And I’ll fire back with a:
OR sometimes I’ll be like you know what we are freaking doing this I am clearing my schedule and making this happen, hand me the red bull and get out of my way people!
I will NEVER be pinterest mom.
That just wont happen.
When my kids come up to me because their bored, I tell them to go find something to do. I am not going to drop everything to create a beautiful craft for them to spend their time doing. I don’t think it is my job to play circus monkey for them and keep them entertained at all moments of the day.
I am not going to hand them my phone and say “Have at it.”, but when I am trying to accomplish a task I just might hand them the phone or put something on TV and I won’t add up how much exposure they’ve had throughout the day to make sure it falls within the recommended hour.
So this is me, this is who I am and how I parent. I am the mom who lets my kids play at the playground without me following closely behind. I let them ride their bikes in the road while I am sitting in the front yard. I let them play in the dirt and get grimy and messy, and I let them run around naked in the backyard. We were carving pumpkins and I let my baby gnaw on the pumpkin while I carved it. He ate pumpkin goop that got on his hands, and I didn’t rush to clean his hands. I let it happen.
I don’t judge someone for doing it differently, but I don’t understand why anyone needs to have the say so in how someone parents. We are all doing our own best, and its not going to be the same as someone else’s best but that is no one’s business but our own.
I think my kids are doing OK.